Cure for Ennui needed

500 days, 500 days, 500 days, 500 days, I've got five hundred days before I gooooo.............

I'm worried. The old apathy is creeping back in. Same apathy that I allowed to wreck my life in poly.

I don't like the fact that while all around me, the people I care for (and some I don't) are undergoing interesting, life-altering experiences, my most pressing matter is trying to get my download speeds up. My PSLE educated (but very hard-working) fellow clerk just hooked up with a Mass Commie. Not good for the self-esteem issues.

Yesterday was the day I realised that I may not have it in me to actually express what my brain wants to say, in the way I want it to be said. Reading certain blogs drive me crazy because of that. I guess the "self-respect" part of the maturing process hasn't started yet.

I don't care about life enough to hope for anything or do anything about it. That includes that unthinkable act that rhymes with "genocide". That's how apathetic I am.

I don't want your pity. I wouldn't mind one or two of your hugs. But mostly, I just want you to make me care again.

My download of The Office just finished. Yayness.