I started out this post as a really, really, really long account of my medical checkup at the CMPB this morning. I then realized that not many of you, unlike me, sadly, have all the time in the world to read my ramblings. So here, instead, is a heavily-edited summary.
Woke up at 5AM. Had Chicken Sandwiches for breakfast (yummy!). Left home at 6.20AM with my Mom. Reached Redhill MRT 30 minutes later. Convinced Mom to not follow me any further. Reached CMPB just at the stroke of 8. Measure my head (big), shoulders (big), feet (big) and waist (obscenely big). Tried, and failed, to pee the first time for the urine test. Got my finger pricked and my blood taken and went to do the other test while I filled up my bladder with the water cooler water. Got a dental checkup and a dental x-ray. Got a full upper body x-ray. Prayed that X-Rays won't give me prostate cancer. Got an eye-test with the usual 'Look at blurry letters across the wall' test. Failed dismally. Got to go to another appointment there again next month. Joy. Did a really neat ear test. I'd explain it, but this is a summary, so suffice to say, it involved headphones, a sound-proof box and Metallica. Actually, just a bunch of bleeps, but 'twould be cool with Metallica. Bladder gets full. Finally did urine test by peeing into a cup and sticking a dipstick into the urine. Resisted a mad urge to drink to President S.R. Nathan's health. Had my height, weight and blood pressure taken. The last one nearly squeezed my arm dry. All these new-fangled machines....Anyway, had to strip and take some body test involving that machine with the suction caps. Ripping the caps off left me with quite a few hickeys. Entered a doctor's office. Got questioned about whether I smoked, whether I'm in a gang, whether I'm gay (serious!), any tatoos, any studs. All in 5 seconds flat. You think I talk fast, get a load of that guy. Oh, and he also examined my privates. Don't forget the butt-probe. Psyche!
Pause for breath. And maybe a little dramatic tension.
Medical test over. That took around 2 1/2 hours. The next test is mental. That took around 2 hours. And it comprised of.....sitting on my butt in front of a criminally ancient computer, answering IQ and Math questions. Some are obvious, some hopelessly complicated. And all the while, I was timed. When time's up, the test is over, whether I finished or not. Eventually, I finished. Not before feeling like a nincompoop. Got a Guide about Preparing for NS before leaving. Nearly got permanantly blinded by the sunlight.
Well, that's that. After my eye appointment next time, I can expect an NS call up sometime around April. Yep, can't wait to go. Can't wait to say goodbye to my Mom's nagging, my sister's obnoxiousness, my Grandma's cooking, my comfy bed, my TV.......
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