Friday, March 17, 2006

One fine day in Toa Payoh

Here, as best as I can manage from this faulty video tape recorder, is a transcript of what happened this morning at the 2nd round of Singapore Idol. (Top 500, biatch!)

(The Meesotofreak (MSF) enters the room. He is a picture of calm, peaceful and tranquil...oh, who are we kidding, he's nervous as hell, and doin an only marginal effort in hiding it. He stands right behind the Singapore Idol sticker on the floor as Dick, Florence, Jacintha and Ken (plus 5 crew members and a cameraman) looks on. The SSK waits for them to say something, then realises that it's upon him to introduce himself without being asked.)

MSF: Ahem, hem, hello, my name is (MSF) and, uh, I'm going to sing...

(He was planning to sing The Beatles' With A Little Help From My Friends, but in that split-second, he inexplicably forgotten the words. In the very next split second, he brought out his back-up song.)

MSF:...More Than Words by, ummm, Extreme. (spreads his right arm toward the judges) For the four of you.

(Laughter.)

Ken: Don't forget the other people in the room.

MSF: Oh, of course, for them too.

(A few seconds for the MSF to steady himself. He counts his fingers. Three, two, one...)

MSF: Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cos I’d already know

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you

More than words

Now I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don’t ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cos I’d already know


(He sings the song with practiced bravado, every note cascading through the ears of everyone in the room, giving them warm feelings in their...again, let's not kid ourselves. It was always going to be below average, and the MSF knew it going in, but the nervenousness he tried to bury deep down came up and butcher his vocal chords and made the song even worse than he prayed it would not be. Self-concious he always was, and by the end of the song, he knew the golden ticket will not be his this day.

The MSF stops. The judges give their little smiles full of meanings that the MSF knew he wouldn't like. The judge from the left of the MSF started first.)

Dick: Okay, (MSF), I can say that you are definitely not a singer and probably would never be.

MSF: Ah, well, ok! (MSF grins. This was going exactly as he thought it would. Not that it hurt less.)

Florence: Yeah, and as for your presentation and style, I can say that it is an absoulute "NO" for me.

(MSF nods.)

Jacintha: And one problem I had is the way you moved one of your shoulders to your back. It doesn't look good at all.

(MSF had to grin at that. The old pose poser was bugging him all this while. He really should have practiced performing in front of a mirror.)

Ken: Actually, this is the first time I've ever seen a contestant emote using his eyebrows like that.

MSF: (here he bursts out laughing, for he hadn't noticed that) Really?!

Ken: Yes, it has little relevance here but still, it's there.

MSF: Well, heh, ok then, I gave it a shot! (turns and shows the room the peace sign) Cheers!

("Hm. I think I handled that quite well," the MSF thinks as he steps outside the door, to the cameras and the host waiting for my results, Daniel Ong. He walks out, sticking his thumbs down signifying his failed mission to get the golden ticket.)

Dan: Awwwwww, man! You didn't make it! What happened in there?

MSF: Well, in a nut shell, I wasn't good enough. (Dan nods in sympathy) I mean, I knew I wasn't good myself, I can hear it.

Dan: You knew you weren't good?

MSF: Yeah, I sounded way too nervous.

Dan: So, so how did you feel in there? Were you nervous in there?

MSF: Actually, not at all. I don't know why, I'm usually not so nervous in front of strangers, like for example with you, I'm talking to you right now, and I'm not so nervous...

Dan: Yeah, you sound alright, man!

MSF: Yeah, thanks.

Dan: So what are you planning to do after this?

MSF: Well, right now, um, I'm waiting for my NS...

Dan: Oh, you're waiting for your NS?

MSF: Yeah, and after that, I plan to, uh, enter Ngee Ann Polytechnic and enter the, um, Mass Comm.

Dan: Yeah, yeah, that's good! At least you have a direction. Ok, since you're going to NS, I have a suggestion for you.

MSF: Mmhmm?

Dan: The MDC, Music & Dance Company. You can sing, act, dance there while serving the nation.

MSF: I can server the nation and entertain people.

Dan: There you go! Alright, all the best, and good luck with your future!

MSF: Thanks, Dan.

(The crowd claps after this little interview. MSF and Dan shakes hands, and MSF moves on, grabbing his bag, and letting himself be led toward the confessional.)

There you go. I'd just like to say that I had a blast auditioning there. I was glad to have the chance to finally meet the judges. Too bad I couldn't get them to say what I wanted them to say. Yup, no regrets about this. Though I might change my mind about that when the show starts airing.

I'll issue this little warning: I was given the opportunity to "stand out" while waiting in the holding area. Ain't saying what it is, yet. But unless something even more funny/horrific happens to blow it out of the water, I'm pretty certain that would make it on air. And if that makes it on air, probably the scene I just transcribed up there would be aired too.

All in all, a disappointing day, but not that much.

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